I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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