My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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