Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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