My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
