I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
