Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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