last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize