i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I am mentally ready for anal.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
