i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
