Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
