is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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