dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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