I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
