Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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