i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
