please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
