I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
