Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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