i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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