Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize