she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
