with your own penis?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
