He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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