she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
