things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
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I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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