Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This baby is an asshole
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
