You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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