sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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