Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize