I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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