Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
