we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
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So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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