A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
