I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
