Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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