She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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