He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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