It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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