So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
