So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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