Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
