I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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