Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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