if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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