Nicole vs. Life
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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