No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We had to coat check the pizza.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
