Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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