I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
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She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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