You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
