thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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