Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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