The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
operation harelip BJ is a go
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
