WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize