If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
