Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
