Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Randomize