He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
