When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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