i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
