So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
do nipples grow back?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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