How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
