i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
