you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize