Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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