its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
