So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
