After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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