i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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