we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
