i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
