so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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